Then, there are those coincidences that are not so harmless, because they mean that someone has been staring in your windows and stalking you. For instance, take the latest installment of Taydo. He apparently chose last night to dedicate a vibrator-themed entry to me. Well, to me and to The Kate, but still.

Now, I have never owned a sex toy. (Besides, of course, the little nubbly rubber ring that came out of a gas station bathroom vending machine en route to Vegas with 'Zona one year, but that was purchased solely for humor value, along with the multi-flavored condoms.)

Actually, let me clarify that. I have never owned a sex toy...until last night. After the Boy and I had dinner, apparently he was inspired by the doyenne of sex therapists, Sue Johansen. Silly me, thought he was kidding about buying a vibrator, and was just looking around in one of the hair-care-products-slash-sex-toys-shops that pepper New York. (I am not kidding about that part -- it is a fantastic store, that Ricky's.) I thought he was kidding, until he asked me to help him pick out what vibrator we would be bringing home.

I am afraid I did not contribute much to the decision, as he seemed much more interested in the idea than I was. He eventually settled on the "Mach X 20," which according to the package has three speeds: fast, Turbo, and MACH! except the word "MACH!" has flames coming off it. Also, it looks like a microphone.

He was so very excited about the purchase, he told StyleGirl about it when we got home. She was fairly nonplussed about the situation, and we had to explain the difference between a roommate knowing about the abstract concept of "the boys are probably upstairs having sex," and the very concrete, "what's that buzzing noise oh my god they're using a vibrator right this very second." He was highly amused.

Of course, he had to bust the thing out to show her, so he pops in the batteries, and turns it on.

Nothing happened.

He turned the batteries over, and turned it on again.

Again, nothing happened.

Nothing.

He had purchased a vibrator with no vibe. A sex toy that wouldn't play.

And it happened last night, the same night that Taydo happened to dedicate an entry about vibrators to me. (and The Kate.) Taydo, if I ever have proof that those footprints in the snow outside my window are yours, staring inside like a Dickensian urchin begging for a scrap of my meat and some gravy, I swear I will take you down.

P.S., I also think it is hilarious that now the Boy has to go back to Ricky's and try to exchange this thing. "No, we never...I mean, it was broken before..."