Warning: The conversation also talks about things like sex, so if you do not want to read about it, go 'way.

Wang: So I feel like a terrible person.

Ful: Why?

Wang: Because I'm about to convince my girlfriend that the "birthday blowjob" is a part of american history.

Ful: Oh good christ.

Wang: And that any american boyfriend she's had before just didn't mention it.

Ful: THAT is funny.

Ful: You know what I think is REALLY REALLY REALLY funny?

Wang: Disneyland?

Ful: DisneyWORLD, and no.

Wang: oh. Right.

Wang: Sorry.

Ful: The part that is tremendously funny to ME,

Ful: is the fact that you are coming up with some ploy to get a blowjob.

Wang: I don't have to.

Wang: I mean. This isn't any kind of ploy for sex. It's just a ploy to continue the idea.

Ful: mmmm hm.

Wang: If I can convince her, then all her friends...

Wang: "Hey, you know what I heard. In this country it's polite to give/receive oral sex for birthdays."

Wang: etc, etc.

Ful: HAHAHA

Wang: Not like that, you sicko.

Ful: I know.

Ful: I just tend to think it is funny in general, when straight guys are all, "My girlfriend won't go down on me, how can I get my girlfriend to go down on me, all I want out of my life is a blowjob."

Ful: I am not saying that is what YOU are doing,

Ful: as I can see that you're operating solely out of a desire to help your Fellow Man when he is dating one of your girlfriend's friends.

Wang: Ah.

Wang: Okay.

Wang: Exactly. Soon the urban legend will spread.

Wang: It's legs.

Ful: I don't think I've EVER had an "encounter" that didn't involve...well. You know.

Wang: Spread legs?

Wang: Urban Legends?

Ful: No, not spread legs.

Ful: Some blow job.

Wang: You've never had a birthday not include a BJ?

Ful: I've had several birthdays without blowjobs,

Wang: So what, "encounter?" exactly are we talking about.

Ful: but I've never slept with anyone maybe EVER, where a blowjob did not factor in to the proceedings.

Wang: So everybody you've slept with, you've given or received head from?

Ful: Pretty much, yeah.

Wang: Well.

Wang: That's interesting.

Wang: So.....

Wang: On a personal level.

Wang: What else could I want for my birthday?

Ful: Um

Ful: are you actually asking me what sexual favors you might ask your girlfriend to perform for you?

Wang: No. I'm asking you for gift ideas.

Ful: Oh.

Ful: An extra iPod so you can give one to me?

Wang: That's two. If Little Owl says the same thing. I'm going to shoot you all.

Ful: You know that if it happened,

Ful: you would SO give it to me instead of Owl.

Ful: You KNOW you would.

Wang: Except that shiv has dibs. She offered cash.

Ful: I SO GET IT!!!

Ful: Wang!!!

Ful: You KNOW that I should get it.

Ful: She doesn't even own a Mac.

Wang: Right. You should. But she offered money. What could you possibly offer me?

Ful: !!!!!!!!!!!!

Ful: Wang!!!!

Ful: That's just...it's just NOT RIGHT.

Ful: Have a little LOYALTY, man.

Wang: What?

Ful: LOYALTY to ME. And my MacExpo-going ways!!

Wang: You would expect me to just give it to you.

Wang: Mac loyalty goes a long way, true.

Wang: But...

Ful: BUT NOTHIN'.

Wang: At least offer me a trade.

Wang: Like.. a pony.

Ful: I have no pony.

Ful: "I hanker for a hunka, a bite a piece a chunka, I hanker for a hunka...CHEEEEEeeeese."

Ful: I will sing you songs.

Ful: And I will bring you a keychain that says "WANG" on it from DisneyWorld.

Wang: Sigh...

Ful: Or a hat.

Ful: If you'd rather have a hat.

Wang: Shiv just offered me anal sex.**

Wang: Beat that!

Ful: She DID NOT.

Wang: She so did.

Ful: Besides, she'd have to use a strap-on. I have the natural equipment.

Wang: Excuse me? What part of my personality suggested that I would be a bottom?

Ful: Well, you didn't specify, now did you?

Ful: And what does "personality" have to do with being a bottom?

Wang: nothing really.

Ful: (laugh)

Wang: I was making a bottom joke.

Ful: Besides. That way, not only could I GIVE you a pony...

Ful: I could MAKE you a pony.

Ful: MY pony.


** Please note: Shiv claims that she has never offered anal sex to Wang; she has merely made the observation that he has never asked her for it nicely.