I would like to walk you through, if I may, the procedure I must follow if I would like to use the "facilities" in my new workplace. (I use the word "facilities" because it sounds much tidier than "pee room.")

Step 1: Walk to the other side of the building.
Step 2: Use my magnetic ID card to open the door that allows me access to the elevator lobby.
Step 3: Use my magnetic ID card to open the door disguised as simply another section of wood paneling in the aforementioned elevator lobby.
Step 4: Walk down another long hallway.
Step 5: Punch in an access code on a keypad attached to the doorknob to get into the men's room proper.
Step 6: Unlatch another swinging door that separates sinks from toilets.
Step 7: Pee.

I have never seen another place that guards its toilets so jealously. I mean, honestly. What is so sacred and special about these particular bathrooms that makes them so difficult to get into? I feel it would be easier to steal into Fort Knox, eat an ingot of gold, and pee it back out again into a Fort Knox toilet than to use the nearby option. This, among other reasons, is why I consider peeing to be a waste of time.