Last night I had the exciting experience of wandering the streets in the dark, with no contacts, wearing sunglasses. New York can be more than a little bit intimidating when one is walking through it and cannot see it. Apparently there is some sort of cut on my EYEBALL that is preventing it from doing those things eyeballs are normally expected to do; namely seeing, being white, and not fucking feeling like it is going to explode. Three hours in the emergency room yielded some doctor-induced hardcore pain meds that seemed to do nothing but make the skin around my eye go numb, a few prescriptions for eyeball-Vaseline (every FOUR HOURS for the next TEN FUCKING DAYS) and a few days worth of anti-pain drops.

But of course, being the rockstar that I am, I went out with the girls to Manhattan and proceeded to get hammered. In my sunglasses. In the bar. In the dark.